Nervous System Regulation for New Moms: Finding Calm in the Chaos

Becoming a mom is one of the most transformative experiences in life. It’s beautiful, overwhelming, exhausting, and exhilarating—all at once. Between sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and adjusting to a new identity, your nervous system can feel like it’s in overdrive.

Your body and brain are wired for survival, and in the postpartum period, they are constantly scanning for stressors. If you’ve felt easily overwhelmed, on edge, or emotionally drained, it’s not just in your head—it’s your nervous system doing its best to keep up. The good news? There are simple, science-backed ways to regulate your nervous system so you can find more balance, peace, and presence in your new role as a mom.

Understanding Your Nervous System

Your nervous system has two main branches that impact how you feel:

1. Sympathetic Nervous System (Fight-or-Flight)

   • Activated by stress, exhaustion, and overwhelm.

   • Can make you feel anxious, irritable, or constantly “on.”

   • Often triggered by sleep deprivation, crying babies, and the mental load of motherhood.

2. Parasympathetic Nervous System (Rest-and-Digest)

   • Helps you feel calm, connected, and present.

   • Promotes digestion, deep breathing, and emotional regulation.

   • Activated through mindful practices, deep breathing, and rest.

As a new mom, your sympathetic nervous system might be working overtime, but with small, intentional shifts, you can activate your parasympathetic nervous system and create more ease in your day.

Simple Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System

1. Breathe Your Way to Calm

Breathing is one of the fastest ways to shift your nervous system from fight-or-flight to rest-and-digest. Try this simple exercise:

💨 The 4-7-8 Breath:

• Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds.

• Hold for 7 seconds.

• Exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 seconds.

• Repeat 3–5 times.

This technique signals safety to your brain and can help you reset in moments of stress.

2. Embrace the Power of Touch

Skin-to-skin contact isn’t just for babies—it’s for moms too! Physical touch releases oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which helps regulate stress and promote relaxation.

🤱 Try This:

• Place your hand on your heart and take deep breaths.

• Hug your baby, partner, or even yourself.

• Use a weighted blanket or warm compress to activate calming sensations.

3. Move Your Body (Even for a Few Minutes!)

Movement helps discharge built-up stress in your nervous system. It doesn’t have to be an intense workout—just gentle movement can make a difference.

🚶‍♀️ Try This:

• Take a 5-minute walk outside.

• Do some gentle stretches while holding your baby.

• Shake out your hands, arms, and legs to release tension.

4. Ground Yourself in the Present Moment

When stress takes over, grounding techniques can help bring you back to the here and now.

🌿 Try the 5-4-3-2-1 Method:

• Name 5 things you can see.

• Name 4 things you can touch.

• Name 3 things you can hear.

• Name 2 things you can smell.

• Name 1 thing you can taste.

This simple exercise can interrupt anxious thoughts and anchor you in the present.

5. Give Yourself Permission to Rest

Many new moms feel pressure to “do it all,” but your nervous system needs rest to function well.

😴 Try This:

• Take a 10-minute nap when possible.

• Practice “non-sleep deep rest” (closing your eyes and focusing on slow breathing).

• Let go of perfection—some days, rest is the most productive thing you can do.

You Deserve Regulation & Rest

Motherhood is demanding, but you don’t have to live in a constant state of stress. By incorporating small, intentional practices into your day, you can help regulate your nervous system, build resilience, and show up as the mom you want to be.

Remember: A regulated mom helps create a regulated baby. Taking care of your nervous system isn’t selfish—it’s essential. 💛

What are your favorite ways to find calm in the chaos of motherhood? Let’s share and support each other in the comments! 👇✨

Top Books for Couples Navigating Marriage After Kids

Having children is one of life’s greatest joys, but it can also bring significant changes to your relationship with your partner. Between sleepless nights, busy schedules, and shifting priorities, maintaining a strong marital bond often takes a back seat. Fortunately, many insightful books offer guidance, tools, and inspiration for couples to thrive as partners while embracing parenthood. Here’s a roundup of the top books for couples after having kids:

1. "And Baby Makes Three" by John M. Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman

• Why It’s a Must-Read: This book by the renowned relationship experts explores how having a child impacts a marriage and offers actionable steps to maintain emotional connection, navigate conflicts, and balance parenting duties.

• Key Takeaway: Prioritizing your relationship is essential for a harmonious family dynamic.

2. "Babyproofing Your Marriage" by Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O’Neill, and Julia Stone

• Why It’s a Must-Read: Written by three mothers, this book addresses the challenges that come with parenting and how they affect your partnership. It’s packed with humor, relatable anecdotes, and practical tips for rekindling intimacy and improving communication.

• Key Takeaway: Laughter and teamwork are key to surviving the chaos of raising kids together.

3. "How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids" by Jancee Dunn

• Why It’s a Must-Read: With humor and honesty, journalist Jancee Dunn delves into the frustrations many mothers feel about uneven parenting roles. Backed by expert advice, this book offers strategies for redistributing responsibilities and improving communication.

• Key Takeaway: Open communication and equitable division of labor are crucial for reducing resentment.

4. "Fair Play" by Eve Rodsky

• Why It’s a Must-Read: Rodsky introduces a game-changing system for balancing household tasks and mental load, ensuring that both partners contribute equally to family life.

• Key Takeaway: A clear and fair division of labor can reduce stress and strengthen your bond.

5. "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver

• Why It’s a Must-Read: Though not specifically about parenting, this classic book provides timeless advice for building a strong marriage. Its practical tools for improving communication, resolving conflicts, and maintaining intimacy are invaluable for parents.

• Key Takeaway: Small, intentional actions can have a big impact on marital happiness.

6. "Parenting Marriage: Creating a Village to Raise Your Children While Still Having Time for Each Other" by Alicia Drummond

• Why It’s a Must-Read: This book focuses on maintaining your connection as a couple while embracing the demands of parenthood. It offers insights on creating a partnership that prioritizes both your marriage and your children.

• Key Takeaway: Parenting and partnership can coexist harmoniously with effort and communication.

7. "Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence" by Esther Perel

• Why It’s a Must-Read: Parenting often puts a strain on physical intimacy. Esther Perel’s groundbreaking book explores how to keep passion alive in long-term relationships, even when life feels overwhelming.

• Key Takeaway: Intimacy requires intention and creativity, especially during the busy years of raising kids.

8. "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts" by Gary Chapman

• Why It’s a Must-Read: Understanding how your partner gives and receives love can transform your relationship. This book is especially helpful for reconnecting after the arrival of a child.

• Key Takeaway: Learning each other’s love languages can deepen your connection and reduce misunderstandings.

9. "Marriage and Children: Staying Close in the Years Ahead" by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny

• Why It’s a Must-Read: This book addresses the emotional distance that often develops between couples after having children and offers strategies to stay connected emotionally and physically.

• Key Takeaway: Nurturing your relationship as a couple benefits the entire family.

10. "No-Drama Discipline for Parents and Partners" by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

• Why It’s a Must-Read: While this book focuses on parenting, its principles can be applied to your partnership as well. It emphasizes empathy, emotional regulation, and effective communication.

• Key Takeaway: Understanding and applying empathetic communication strengthens both your parenting and your marriage.

Tips for Choosing the Right Book

• Identify Your Challenges: Choose a book that addresses your specific concerns, whether it’s communication, intimacy, or division of labor.

• Consider Both Perspectives: Opt for books that value both partners’ experiences and provide solutions that feel equitable.

• Make Time to Read Together: Reading and discussing a book as a couple can be a bonding experience and open the door for meaningful conversations.

Final Thoughts

Parenthood is a journey that can strengthen or strain a marriage. The books listed here provide valuable insights, tools, and encouragement for couples navigating the joys and challenges of raising children. By investing time in your relationship and applying the lessons from these resources, you can create a partnership that not only survives but thrives during the parenting years.

Remember: a happy marriage is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children, as it models love, respect, and teamwork.

Managing Complex Relationships with In-Laws After Having a Baby

Bringing a baby into the world is a joyful and transformative experience, but it can also bring challenges, especially when it comes to relationships with in-laws. New dynamics emerge as everyone adjusts to their roles as grandparents, parents, and extended family members. These changes can create tension, misunderstandings, or even conflict. However, with clear communication, healthy boundaries, and mutual understanding, managing complex relationships with in-laws can become a more positive experience.

Why Relationships with In-Laws Become Challenging After a Baby

1. Different Expectations:

   • Grandparents often have their own ideas about how they’ll be involved in their grandchild’s life. These expectations may not align with your parenting style or boundaries.

2. Unsolicited Advice:

   • Many new parents experience a flood of advice from well-meaning in-laws, which can feel overwhelming or critical, especially when it clashes with your preferences or modern parenting approaches.

3. Cultural or Generational Differences:

   • Different cultural norms or generational views on parenting can create misunderstandings or conflicts.

4. Increased Emotional Sensitivity:

   • Sleep deprivation, postpartum hormones, and the stress of adjusting to life with a baby can heighten emotions, making conflicts with in-laws feel more intense.

5. Shifting Roles:

   • Parents may feel protective of their new family unit, while grandparents may struggle with the transition to a supportive, secondary role.

Strategies for Managing Relationships with In-Laws

1. Set Clear Boundaries

Boundaries are essential for maintaining a healthy relationship with in-laws while preserving your peace of mind.

• Be Specific: Clearly communicate what you’re comfortable with regarding visits, advice, and involvement. For example, “We’d love for you to visit on weekends, but we’ll need time during the week to settle into our routine.”

• Be Consistent: Enforce your boundaries consistently to avoid confusion or resentment.

2. Communicate Openly and Respectfully

Open communication is key to reducing misunderstandings and fostering mutual respect.

• Express Appreciation: Acknowledge your in-laws' intentions and efforts to be involved. For example, “We appreciate how much you care about the baby and want to help.”

• Use “I” Statements: Instead of placing blame, frame concerns using “I” statements. For example, “I feel overwhelmed when too many suggestions are made at once.”

• Discuss Expectations Early: Share your parenting values and expectations with your in-laws before conflicts arise.

3. Involve Your Partner

Your partner can play a crucial role in managing the relationship with their parents.

• Present a United Front: Work with your partner to agree on boundaries and expectations, then communicate them as a team.

• Encourage Their Advocacy: Your partner may be better positioned to address sensitive issues with their parents.

4. Focus on Building a Relationship, Not Winning a Battle

The goal is to create a healthy relationship, not to "win" arguments or prove a point.

• Pick Your Battles: Let go of minor annoyances and focus on addressing issues that truly matter.

• Foster Positive Interactions: Find ways to bond with your in-laws, such as inviting them to participate in activities you’re comfortable with, like reading to the baby or taking a walk together.

5. Manage Expectations Around Visits and Roles

Visiting schedules and roles can be a source of tension, especially when in-laws feel excluded or overstep.

• Plan Visits Together: Create a schedule that works for everyone and gives you the space you need.

• Define Roles Clearly: Communicate how you’d like your in-laws to be involved. For example, “We’d love for you to babysit occasionally once the baby is older.”

6. Practice Empathy

Understanding your in-laws’ perspective can help ease tension.

• Consider Their Excitement: Becoming a grandparent is a significant milestone, and their excitement often stems from love and enthusiasm.

• Acknowledge Their Transition: Just as you’re adjusting to parenthood, they’re adjusting to their new role.

7. Seek Support When Needed

If conflicts persist or escalate, seek external support.

• Family Counseling: A neutral third party can help mediate and resolve ongoing issues.

• Support Groups: Connecting with other parents who have faced similar challenges can provide valuable perspective and advice.

Examples of Managing Common In-Law Challenges

1. Unsolicited Advice:

   • Response: “Thank you for sharing your experience. We’ve decided to follow our pediatrician’s recommendation on this, but we appreciate your input.”

2. Overstepping Boundaries (e.g., unannounced visits):

   • Response: “We love having you visit, but it’s helpful for us to plan ahead. Could you let us know beforehand so we can be prepared?”

3. Criticism of Parenting Choices:

   • Response: “We understand that things were done differently in your time. We’re trying a different approach that works best for us right now.”

Balancing Your New Family Unit and Extended Family

Managing relationships with in-laws while prioritizing your new family unit can be delicate but achievable.

1. Prioritize Your Baby’s Needs: Your child’s well-being should be at the center of decisions.

2. Protect Your Mental Health: Remember that it’s okay to take a step back from relationships that feel draining or toxic.

3. Create New Traditions: Involve your in-laws in ways that feel comfortable and joyful, such as holiday traditions or family outings.

Final Thoughts

Navigating relationships with in-laws after having a baby can be challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to strengthen family bonds. With clear communication, mutual respect, and a focus on the shared goal of loving and supporting your baby, you can create a positive dynamic that benefits everyone involved.

Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your new family’s needs while maintaining a respectful and loving relationship with your in-laws. Striking this balance takes time and effort, but the rewards of a harmonious family environment are well worth it.

Weaning from Breastfeeding: How It Impacts Hormones and Mental Health

The journey of breastfeeding is deeply personal and transformative. For many mothers, it is a time of bonding, nourishment, and connection. However, when the time comes to wean—whether it happens gradually or suddenly—it can be a significant physical and emotional transition. What many mothers may not realize is that weaning from breastfeeding can have profound effects on hormones and mental health. Understanding these changes can help mothers navigate this transition with greater awareness and self-compassion.

Hormonal Changes During Weaning

Breastfeeding is driven by hormones, particularly prolactin and oxytocin. These hormones regulate milk production and facilitate the emotional connection between mother and baby. When breastfeeding ends, hormonal levels adjust, which can lead to noticeable physical and emotional shifts.

1. Drop in Prolactin Levels:

   • Prolactin is the hormone responsible for milk production. As breastfeeding decreases, prolactin levels drop. While this change is necessary to signal the body to stop producing milk, it can lead to feelings of fatigue or mood fluctuations, as prolactin also plays a role in mood regulation.

2. Reduction in Oxytocin:

   • Known as the "love hormone," oxytocin is released during breastfeeding, promoting feelings of relaxation and bonding. A decrease in oxytocin levels during weaning can leave some mothers feeling a sense of loss or even sadness.

3. Reactivation of Menstrual Cycle:

   • For many women, breastfeeding suppresses ovulation and menstruation. As weaning occurs, the menstrual cycle often resumes, leading to hormonal fluctuations similar to those experienced during premenstrual syndrome (PMS).

4. Shift in Estrogen and Progesterone Levels:

   • Hormonal levels of estrogen and progesterone begin to stabilize after weaning. This adjustment can cause physical symptoms such as bloating, headaches, or acne, as well as emotional effects like irritability or mood swings.

Mental Health During Weaning

The hormonal shifts associated with weaning can significantly impact mental health. These effects vary depending on the mother's unique hormonal sensitivity, her emotional connection to breastfeeding, and the circumstances of weaning.

1. Post-Weaning Depression

Post-weaning depression is a real, though often overlooked, condition. It occurs when hormonal changes and the emotional impact of weaning combine to create feelings of sadness, irritability, or anxiety.

• Why It Happens: The drop in prolactin and oxytocin can reduce the calming and bonding effects these hormones provided during breastfeeding, leaving mothers feeling disconnected or moody.

• Symptoms: These may include persistent sadness, lack of energy, feelings of guilt, or difficulty concentrating.

2. Feelings of Loss

Weaning often symbolizes the end of a unique phase in the mother-baby relationship. For some mothers, this can evoke a sense of grief or loss. This emotional response is natural and reflects the deep bond created during breastfeeding.

3. Increased Anxiety

Hormonal fluctuations can exacerbate feelings of anxiety. For mothers who relied on the soothing effects of oxytocin during breastfeeding, the absence of that hormonal boost may lead to heightened worry or restlessness.

4. Guilt or Self-Doubt

Cultural and societal pressures around breastfeeding can leave mothers feeling guilty or uncertain about their decision to wean, even if it is the best choice for their family.

Tips for Supporting Hormonal and Mental Health During Weaning

While weaning can be challenging, there are strategies to ease the transition and support mental well-being:

1. Gradual Weaning:

Whenever possible, weaning gradually allows your body to adjust more smoothly to hormonal changes. Slowly reducing the number of breastfeeding sessions gives hormones like prolactin and oxytocin time to taper off naturally.

2. Practice Self-Compassion:

Acknowledge the emotions that come with weaning without judgment. Remind yourself that it is normal to feel a mix of sadness, relief, and even guilt.

3. Support Your Hormonal Health:

• Stay Active: Exercise can help stabilize mood by boosting endorphins and regulating cortisol levels.

• Eat a Balanced Diet: Consuming foods rich in nutrients like omega-3 fatty acids, magnesium, and B vitamins can support brain health and mood regulation.

• Stay Hydrated: Hormonal changes can lead to dehydration, which can exacerbate fatigue and irritability.

4. Talk About Your Feelings:

Share your experiences with trusted friends, family, or a support group. Talking about your feelings can help you process the transition and feel less isolated.

5. Seek Professional Help:

If feelings of sadness, anxiety, or overwhelm persist, consider reaching out to a therapist or healthcare provider. Post-weaning depression is treatable, and support is available.

6. Focus on New Ways to Bond:

Weaning doesn’t mean the end of closeness with your baby. Explore new ways to connect, like cuddling, reading, or playing together.

Final Thoughts

Weaning from breastfeeding is more than just a physical process—it’s an emotional and hormonal transition that can impact every aspect of a mother’s well-being. Recognizing the changes you may experience and taking steps to support your physical and mental health can make this transition more manageable.

Remember, weaning is a natural part of the motherhood journey. Whether it happens sooner or later than you expected, it’s a sign of growth for both you and your child. With patience, self-care, and support, you can navigate this phase with confidence and grace, honoring both the bond you’ve shared and the new chapter ahead.

How Childhood Emotional Trauma, Like Being a Parentified Child, Impacts Health, Mental Well-being, and Relationships in Adulthood

Childhood emotional trauma is an experience that deeply affects an individual’s development and often leaves lasting impacts that extend well into adulthood. One such trauma, parentification, occurs when a child is expected to take on the emotional or physical responsibilities of a parent, typically due to a parent's inability to fulfill their role. While many children may demonstrate a certain level of caregiving or responsibility within a family, a truly parentified child takes on responsibilities well beyond their age and maturity, often sacrificing their own needs in the process. The repercussions of this role reversal can be profound, impacting not only mental health but also physical health and relationships.

1. Impact on Physical Health

Childhood trauma, including parentification, is not just an emotional experience—it has tangible effects on physical health. Studies have shown that childhood emotional trauma can contribute to a range of physical health issues in adulthood due to chronic stress and altered brain function. Here’s how:

• Chronic Stress and Cortisol Levels: When a child is placed in a caregiver role, they may experience chronic stress from attempting to meet adult responsibilities. This stress often leads to elevated cortisol levels over time, which can have a lasting impact on the body. Prolonged high cortisol levels are linked to health problems like hypertension, cardiovascular disease, and metabolic issues.

• Weakened Immune System: Stress hormones impact immune function, leaving many adults who experienced childhood trauma with a heightened susceptibility to illness. Chronic inflammation, a common result of prolonged stress, is associated with autoimmune conditions, gastrointestinal issues, and chronic fatigue.

• Sleep Disorders: Parentified children often grow up with a heightened state of vigilance, a behavior known as hypervigilance, which impacts their ability to relax and sleep well. Poor sleep habits established early in life can persist into adulthood, leading to a variety of health issues including heart disease, obesity, and diabetes.

• Psychosomatic Symptoms: Many adults with unresolved childhood trauma report physical symptoms like migraines, stomach issues, and chronic pain without an apparent medical cause. These symptoms can be the body’s way of expressing unresolved stress and emotional pain.

2. Impact on Mental Health

The psychological toll of parentification often manifests in adulthood as unresolved trauma, self-doubt, and emotional regulation issues. Mental health challenges faced by adults who experienced parentification in childhood include:

• Anxiety and Depression: Constantly prioritizing others’ needs over their own can lead to a sense of worthlessness and anxiety. Adults who were parentified children may have heightened self-critical tendencies, which can contribute to depression, low self-esteem, and persistent anxiety.

• Perfectionism and Overachievement: Parentified children often grow into adults who feel they must be “perfect” in order to be valued. This perfectionism is frequently rooted in a fear of failure and can lead to burnout, dissatisfaction, and chronic stress.

• Difficulty with Self-Care: Adults who were forced to “grow up too fast” often struggle with taking care of themselves. They may feel guilty when focusing on their own needs or may not know how to prioritize their well-being. This can lead to neglect of basic self-care, making them more vulnerable to mental health issues like depression and anxiety.

• Emotional Dysregulation: Parentified children often learn to suppress their emotions to appear “strong” and avoid burdening others. As adults, this emotional suppression can lead to emotional outbursts, feelings of numbness, or an inability to effectively process feelings.

• Imposter Syndrome: Many adults who grew up parentified feel like “imposters” in their own lives, questioning their own success and self-worth. This persistent self-doubt can hinder their professional and personal growth.

3. Impact on Relationships

Relationships are often one of the most profoundly affected areas in the lives of adults who experienced parentification. Their early experiences can lead to difficulties in setting boundaries, maintaining healthy relationships, and fostering intimacy. Here’s how:

• Boundary Issues: Parentified children typically grow up without the freedom to set boundaries, as they’re expected to be endlessly available for others. In adulthood, this can lead to difficulty asserting boundaries in relationships, resulting in relationships that feel one-sided or even exploitative.

• Caretaker Role in Relationships: Many adults who were parentified as children feel most comfortable in relationships where they take on the role of caregiver or “fixer.” This dynamic often leads to codependent relationships, where they may attract partners who need support but are unable to provide it in return.

• Fear of Intimacy and Vulnerability: Parentified children often equate love with responsibility and fear that vulnerability will lead to rejection or failure. In adult relationships, this fear can lead to emotional distance or a reluctance to rely on others, ultimately limiting intimacy.

• Difficulty Trusting Others: Parentified children often have a hard time trusting that others will be there for them because they were used to taking care of themselves. This self-reliance can make it challenging to open up to others or to allow others to support them.

• People-Pleasing Tendencies: Having learned that their worth comes from being “useful,” these adults are often quick to please others at their own expense. This people-pleasing tendency can attract manipulative partners or friends, reinforcing feelings of low self-worth and frustration.

Healing and Rebuilding a Healthy Sense of Self

While the impacts of parentification can be significant, healing and rebuilding a strong, healthy sense of self is absolutely possible. Here are some ways to begin this process:

• Therapy and Support: Therapy, especially trauma-informed or cognitive-behavioral therapy, can provide a safe space to work through the effects of parentification. Support groups and therapeutic communities can also be immensely beneficial.

• Setting Boundaries: Learning to set boundaries is essential. This includes identifying personal needs, asserting limits in relationships, and learning to say no. Boundaries help break the habit of people-pleasing and foster healthier relationships.

• Practicing Self-Care: Prioritizing self-care, from basic physical needs to personal interests, can help rebuild self-worth and reinforce the idea that taking care of oneself is not only okay but essential.

• Exploring Vulnerability in Relationships: Learning to trust others and engage in reciprocal, supportive relationships takes practice but can lead to more meaningful connections. This can include opening up about one’s feelings, needs, and expectations.

• Rebuilding Self-Worth and Identity: Rediscovering hobbies, talents, and aspirations that may have been neglected can help adults reconnect with their identity outside of caregiving roles. Building a solid sense of identity independent of others' needs is crucial for long-term fulfillment and mental health.

• Mindfulness and Relaxation Practices: Techniques like mindfulness, meditation, and breathing exercises can help reduce anxiety, encourage self-compassion, and promote a healthier response to stress.

Final Thoughts

Parentification is a complex and often invisible trauma that can profoundly shape one’s physical health, mental well-being, and relationships. However, awareness, reflection, and a commitment to self-care and healing can pave the way for a healthier, more balanced life. Releasing old patterns of caretaking, embracing one’s needs, and setting boundaries allows for a sense of self that honors both the experiences of the past and the potential of the future. Through understanding and support, individuals affected by parentification can create a life that reflects their true identity and needs, not those imposed by an unmet childhood role.

Navigating Postpartum Depression: A Guide for New Mothers

Bringing a new life into the world is a beautiful and transformative experience, but it can also be overwhelming. For many new mothers, the postpartum period is filled with emotional highs and lows. While some mood swings and exhaustion are expected, others may find themselves facing something more challenging: postpartum depression (PPD).

In this post, we’ll explore postpartum depression with compassion and understanding. By sharing relatable examples and highlighting the differences between the baby blues and PPD, we hope to shed light on this often misunderstood condition and provide support to those who might be struggling.

What is Postpartum Depression?

Postpartum depression (PPD) is more than just feeling down after giving birth. It’s a serious condition that affects a mother’s ability to function and enjoy life. While it’s normal to feel tired or emotional after childbirth, PPD can take these feelings to a much deeper and more prolonged level.

Imagine this: You’ve just brought your baby home, and instead of feeling joy and excitement, you feel an overwhelming sadness that won’t go away. You might cry for no clear reason or feel empty, like there’s a heavy weight on your chest. This isn’t just a fleeting feeling—it lingers day after day, making it hard to get out of bed or take care of your baby.

PPD can creep up on you gradually, or it can hit suddenly. You might start to feel disconnected from your baby, struggling to find that bond everyone talks about. You might be constantly worried that something terrible is going to happen, or you could feel guilty, thinking you’re not a good mother.

Examples of PPD Symptoms

1. Persistent Sadness and Hopelessness: As new mother, you find yourself crying every evening when your baby goes to sleep. You can’t shake the sadness, even when things seem to be going well. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

2. Overwhelming Anxiety: Constantly worries about your baby’s health. You check on her baby every few minutes during nap time, convinced that something is wrong. Even when the doctor reassures you, you can’t relax and finds yourself losing sleep over it.

3. Irritability and Anger: You snap at your partner over small things. You feel frustrated and irritated all the time, even when you know there’s no real reason for it. You hate feeling this way, but can’t seem to control it.

4. Difficulty Bonding with the Baby: You expected to feel an instant connection with your baby, but instead, you feel distant and detached. You go through the motions of feeding and changing diapers but feel guilty for not feeling the overwhelming love everyone told you about.

5. Loss of Interest in Activities: You used to love reading and watching your favorite shows, but now, nothing seems enjoyable. You feel like you’re just going through the motions, with no joy in the things you once loved.

6. Extreme Fatigue: All new moms are tired, but you feel exhausted in a way that sleep can’t fix. You’re too tired to eat, too tired to take a shower, and too tired to ask for help. It’s a level of fatigue that makes everything seem impossible.

7. Guilt and Worthlessness: You constantly criticizes yourself. You feel like you’re failing as a mother because you’re struggling with breastfeeding. Even though her partner tells you you’re doing great, you can’t shake the feeling that you’re not good enough.

8. Scary Thoughts: In the darkest moments, you have thoughts you’re ashamed of—like wondering if your baby would be better off without you. These thoughts terrify you, and you feel too scared and guilty to tell anyone.

The Baby Blues vs. Postpartum Depression

The Baby Blues are very common and affect up to 80% of new mothers. They usually begin within a few days after delivery and can last for about two weeks. The baby blues often come with mood swings, tearfulness, and feelings of anxiety.

For example, you find yourself crying while watching a commercial about baby clothes. You’re feeling emotional and tired but also finds yourself laughing with your partner a few hours later. You feel a bit overwhelmed but know that with time, you’ll feel more like yourself. Your symptoms are temporary and don’t stop you from enjoying your baby.

Postpartum Depression (PPD), on the other hand, is more intense and long-lasting. It doesn’t go away on its own and can make daily tasks feel impossible.

For example, you gave birth three months ago, but you still feel disconnected from your baby. You find yourself withdrawing from friends and family, feeling like you’re stuck in a fog you can’t escape from. Your partner notices you’re not engaging with the baby and that you’ve lost interest in everything you used to love. Unlike with the baby blues your symptoms aren’t improving, and they’re starting to affect your ability to care for your baby and yourself.

When to Seek Help

If you’re experiencing symptoms like the ones described above, it’s important to reach out for help. Postpartum depression is treatable, and you don’t have to go through it alone. Here are some steps you can take:

1. Talk to a Healthcare Professional: Your doctor or midwife can help you assess your symptoms and discuss treatment options, such as therapy or medication.

2. Connect with a Therapist: Therapy can provide a safe space to talk about your feelings and develop coping strategies. Finding a therapist that is competent in treating postpartum mood disorders is crucial. Postpartum Support International has a dircetory to help you find a therapist in your location. Click on the link to find support today: https://psidirectory.com

3. Lean on Your Support System: Don’t be afraid to ask for help from family and friends. Whether it’s helping with the baby or just listening to you, your support network is there for you.

4. Join a Support Group: Sometimes, talking with other mothers who have gone through the same thing can be incredibly healing. You’re not alone, and sharing your experiences can be a source of comfort.

Postpartum depression is not your fault, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad mother. It’s a real and serious condition that many women face, but it’s also something you can overcome with the right support.

If you recognize yourself in any of the examples above, please know that help is available. Reach out to your healthcare provider, talk to your loved ones, and remember that it’s okay to ask for help. You deserve to feel better, and your baby needs you to be healthy, too.

You’re not alone on this journey—there’s a whole community ready to support you as you navigate this challenging but ultimately hopeful chapter of motherhood.

Understanding and Coping with Intrusive Thoughts Postpartum

How common are Intrusive Thoughts Postpartum?

Intrusive thoughts are common among new mothers, but understanding their prevalence and impact can help in managing them effectively. Here are some key statistics and insights:

1. Prevalence:

- According to Kleiman and Wenzell (2011, 26) 91%, yes 91%! of mothers experience some sort of upsetting, obsessive (though not necessarily violent) intrusive thought at some point in pregnancy or early motherhood.These thoughts often involve concerns about the baby’s safety and can range from mild worries to more distressing and graphic imagery.

2. Postpartum Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD):

- It is estimated that about 3-5% of new mothers develop postpartum OCD, a condition characterized by persistent, distressing intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors aimed at reducing anxiety

3. Impact on Mental Health:

- Intrusive thoughts can contribute to heightened anxiety, stress, and feelings of guilt or shame. If left unaddressed, they may impact a mother’s overall well-being and her ability to bond with her baby.

Understanding Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, involuntary thoughts that can be disturbing and distressing. In the context of new motherhood, these thoughts often revolve around the baby’s safety and well-being. Common themes include:

- Fear of Harm: Thoughts about accidentally or intentionally harming the baby.

- Fear of Neglect: Worries about failing to adequately care for the baby.

- Health Concerns: Concerns about the baby’s health or development.

Coping with Intrusive Thoughts Postpartum

While intrusive thoughts are a normal part of the postpartum experience for many women, they can be distressing. Here are some strategies to help cope with these thoughts:

1. Acknowledge and Accept:

- Recognize that intrusive thoughts are common and do not reflect your true intentions or capabilities as a mother. Accepting that these thoughts are a normal response to the stress and responsibility of new motherhood can reduce their power.

2. Talk About It:

- Share your thoughts and feelings with a trusted friend, partner, or healthcare provider. Talking about intrusive thoughts can lessen their impact and help you feel less isolated.

3. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques:

- Practices such as mindfulness, meditation, and deep breathing can help manage anxiety and reduce the frequency and intensity of intrusive thoughts. Focusing on the present moment can prevent you from getting caught up in negative thought patterns.

4. Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT):

- ART and CBT are effective treatments for managing intrusive thoughts and anxiety. A therapist can help you identify and challenge negative thought patterns and develop healthier coping strategies.

5. Limit Exposure to Triggers:

- Identify and reduce exposure to situations or stimuli that may trigger intrusive thoughts. For example, if certain news stories or social media posts increase your anxiety, consider limiting your consumption of these media.

6. Self-Compassion:

- Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that having intrusive thoughts does not make you a bad mother. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend in a similar situation.

7. Create a Supportive Environment:

- Surround yourself with supportive people who can provide practical help and emotional support. Building a strong support network can reduce stress and provide reassurance.

8. Engage in Positive Activities:

- Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Hobbies, exercise, and spending time with loved ones can distract from intrusive thoughts and improve your overall mood.

9. Medication:

- In some cases, medication may be necessary to manage severe anxiety or postpartum OCD. Consult with your healthcare provider to discuss safe options for you and your baby, especially if you are breastfeeding.

10. Professional Help:

- If intrusive thoughts are significantly impacting your daily life or mental health, seek professional help. A mental health professional can provide therapy and support tailored to your needs.

Conclusion

Intrusive thoughts are a common experience for many new mothers, but they can be distressing and impact mental health. Understanding their prevalence and employing effective coping strategies can help manage these thoughts and reduce their impact. Remember, seeking help and support is a sign of strength, and addressing these thoughts can lead to a healthier, more enjoyable postpartum experience.

Hormonal Shifts in Pregnancy and Postpartum and Their Impact on Mood

Pregnancy and the postpartum period involve significant hormonal changes that can profoundly impact a woman's mood and emotional well-being. Understanding these hormonal shifts can help explain why many women experience mood fluctuations during this time and can also provide insight into managing these changes effectively.

Hormonal Shifts During Pregnancy

1. Estrogen:

- Role: Estrogen levels increase significantly during pregnancy, reaching their peak in the third trimester. This hormone helps maintain the pregnancy and prepare the body for childbirth.

- Impact on Mood: High estrogen levels can have a mood-stabilizing effect. However, fluctuations in estrogen levels can contribute to mood swings and emotional sensitivity.

2. Progesterone:

- Role: Progesterone levels also rise during pregnancy, especially in the first and second trimesters. It helps maintain the uterine lining and prevent contractions.

- Impact on Mood: Increased progesterone can cause fatigue, irritability, and emotional lability. Many women report feeling more emotional and tearful during periods of high progesterone.

3. Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG):

- Role: hCG is produced by the placenta and is responsible for maintaining the early stages of pregnancy.

- Impact on Mood: Rapid increases in hCG levels, especially in the first trimester, are associated with nausea and vomiting, which can indirectly affect mood and well-being.

4. Prolactin:

- Role: Prolactin levels rise to prepare the breasts for milk production.

- Impact on Mood: While prolactin is essential for lactation, high levels can contribute to feelings of fatigue and mood changes.

5. Oxytocin:

- Role: Often called the "love hormone," oxytocin levels increase during pregnancy and peak during labor and breastfeeding. It helps with bonding and social connections.

- Impact on Mood: Oxytocin promotes feelings of relaxation, love, and bonding, which can positively impact mood. However, fluctuations in oxytocin levels can also lead to emotional ups and downs.

Hormonal Shifts in the Postpartum Period

1. Estrogen and Progesterone:

- Role: Both estrogen and progesterone levels drop dramatically after childbirth, returning to pre-pregnancy levels.

- Impact on Mood: This sudden drop can contribute to postpartum blues, characterized by mood swings, tearfulness, and irritability. For some women, this hormonal shift may trigger postpartum depression, a more severe and prolonged mood disorder.

2. Prolactin:

- Role: Prolactin levels remain high as long as the mother is breastfeeding, promoting milk production.

- Impact on Mood: While prolactin supports breastfeeding, elevated levels can also contribute to fatigue and emotional sensitivity. Additionally, the demands of breastfeeding can lead to sleep deprivation, which negatively affects mood.

3. Oxytocin:

- Role: Oxytocin continues to play a crucial role in bonding and breastfeeding. It is released during breastfeeding and helps strengthen the mother-infant bond.

- Impact on Mood: Oxytocin can promote feelings of happiness and bonding. However, stress and fatigue can interfere with oxytocin release, affecting mood and emotional well-being.

4. Cortisol:

- Role: Cortisol levels can be elevated due to the physical and emotional stress of childbirth and caring for a newborn.

- Impact on Mood: High cortisol levels can lead to anxiety, irritability, and difficulty sleeping. Chronic stress can exacerbate these effects, making it harder for new mothers to cope.

Managing Mood Changes During Pregnancy and Postpartum

1. Education and Support:

- Understanding the hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy and postpartum can help women and their families recognize and normalize mood fluctuations.

- Seeking support from healthcare providers, counselors, and support groups can provide emotional support and practical advice.

2. Healthy Lifestyle:

- Maintaining a balanced diet, engaging in regular physical activity, and ensuring adequate rest can help stabilize mood and improve overall well-being.

3. Self-Care:

- Prioritizing self-care activities, such as relaxation techniques, hobbies, and social interactions, can help manage stress and promote emotional health.

4. Professional Help:

- If mood changes become overwhelming or persistent, seeking help from a mental health professional is crucial. Therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and medications may be recommended for managing conditions like postpartum depression or anxiety.

Conclusion

The hormonal shifts that occur during pregnancy and the postpartum period are profound and can significantly impact a woman's mood. By understanding these changes and their effects, women can better prepare for the emotional challenges of motherhood and take proactive steps to support their mental health. With the right knowledge, support, and self-care, it is possible to navigate this transformative time with greater ease and resilience.

Why Moms Feel Guilt and Shame Around Taking Time for Self-Care

Motherhood is a journey filled with joy, love, and countless precious moments. However, it also comes with its fair share of challenges and pressures. Among these is a common yet often unspoken struggle: the guilt and shame many moms feel when they consider taking time for themselves. Even though self-care is essential for overall well-being, many mothers find it difficult to prioritize. This post delves into the reasons behind these feelings and offers a compassionate perspective on why self-care is crucial for both moms and their families.

The Weight of Societal Expectations

The Myth of the Selfless Mother:

- Society has long celebrated the image of the self-sacrificing mother, one who places her family’s needs above her own at all times. This ideal is deeply ingrained in our cultural narrative and can lead mothers to believe that prioritizing their own well-being is selfish or neglectful.

The Pressure of Social Media:

- Social media can exacerbate these feelings, presenting an endless stream of curated images of "perfect" mothers who seemingly balance everything effortlessly. This can make real-life moms feel inadequate or guilty when they struggle to meet these unattainable standards.

Internal Struggles and Personal Expectations

Fear of Judgment:

- Many moms worry about being judged by others if they take time for themselves. There’s a pervasive fear that others might see them as less devoted or even selfish for wanting to prioritize their own needs.

Perfectionism:

- The desire to be the perfect mother can drive women to set impossibly high standards for themselves. This can lead to burnout, as they continually put their own needs last in an effort to meet these unrealistic expectations.

Practical Barriers

Time Constraints:

- The daily responsibilities of motherhood, especially for those with young children, often leave little room for self-care. Balancing work, household duties, and childcare can make it feel impossible to carve out time for oneself.

Lack of Support:

- Without a supportive network, finding time for self-care can seem like an unattainable luxury. Single mothers or those without reliable childcare options may feel particularly isolated and overwhelmed.

The Importance of Self-Care

Despite these challenges, self-care is not just a luxury; it’s a necessity. When moms neglect their own needs, they are at greater risk of experiencing burnout, depression, and anxiety. Moreover, practicing self-care sets a positive example for children, teaching them the importance of taking care of their own well-being.

Overcoming Guilt and Embracing Self-Care

Redefine Self-Care:

- Self-care doesn’t have to mean lavish spa days or long vacations. It can be as simple as taking a few minutes each day for deep breathing, enjoying a quiet cup of tea, or engaging in a favorite hobby. Recognize that self-care is about maintaining your overall health and well-being.

Challenge Negative Beliefs:

- Reflect on the beliefs that drive feelings of guilt and shame. Are they realistic or helpful? Remind yourself that taking care of yourself is not selfish but necessary for being the best parent you can be.

Seek Support:

- Reach out to friends, family, or parenting groups for support. Sharing experiences with others can reduce feelings of isolation and provide practical tips for integrating self-care into your routine.

Set Boundaries:

- Establish clear boundaries to protect your self-care time. Communicate with your partner, family members, or childcare providers about your needs and the importance of taking time for yourself.

Practice Self-Compassion:

- Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge that it’s okay to have needs and to take time to meet them. Practicing self-compassion can help reduce feelings of guilt and shame.

The journey of motherhood is filled with immense love and responsibility, and it’s understandable why many moms feel guilt and shame around taking time for self-care. By understanding the societal, cultural, and personal factors that contribute to these feelings, mothers can begin to challenge these beliefs and make self-care a priority. Remember, taking time for yourself is not only beneficial for you but also for your family. A well-rested, healthy, and happy mother is better equipped to care for her loved ones and model a balanced, healthy lifestyle for her children. Embrace self-care with the understanding that it is an essential part of being the incredible mom you already are.

How to Recognize Postpartum OCD: A Guide for New Moms

The postpartum period is a time of significant change and adjustment, and it’s natural for new moms to experience a range of emotions. However, when feelings of anxiety and distress become overwhelming and are accompanied by intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, it may be a sign of postpartum OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). Recognizing the symptoms of postpartum OCD is the first step towards seeking help and finding effective treatment.

Understanding Postpartum OCD

Postpartum OCD is a form of OCD that occurs after childbirth. It is characterized by intrusive, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) that the person feels driven to perform to reduce the distress caused by these thoughts. These symptoms often revolve around fears related to the baby's safety and well-being.

Common Symptoms of Postpartum OCD

1. Intrusive Thoughts:

- Persistent, unwanted thoughts or mental images about harm coming to the baby. These thoughts are often disturbing and may include fears of accidentally harming the baby, such as dropping the baby, suffocating the baby, or the baby contracting a severe illness.

- Thoughts about losing control and harming the baby, even though the mother has no desire or intention to do so.

2. Compulsions:

- Repetitive behaviors or mental rituals performed to alleviate the anxiety caused by the intrusive thoughts. Examples include:

- Excessive cleaning or sterilizing baby items.

- Checking on the baby frequently to ensure they are breathing.

- Avoiding certain activities or objects perceived as dangerous.

- Seeking reassurance from others repeatedly.

3. Hypervigilance:

- Being excessively cautious and constantly on high alert to prevent perceived dangers.

- Overprotective behavior, such as not allowing anyone else to hold or care for the baby.

4. Distress and Anxiety:

- High levels of anxiety and distress related to the obsessions and compulsions.

- Feelings of guilt, shame, or confusion about having these thoughts and behaviors.

Differentiating Postpartum OCD from Normal New Mom Concerns

It is important to distinguish between the normal worries that all new moms experience and the symptoms of postpartum OCD. While it’s natural to be concerned about your baby's safety and well-being, postpartum OCD involves intense, irrational fears and behaviors that interfere with daily functioning.

Normal New Mom Concerns:

- Occasional worries about the baby’s health and safety.

- Performing necessary tasks to care for the baby, such as feeding, changing, and ensuring a safe sleep environment.

Postpartum OCD Symptoms:

- Persistent, intrusive thoughts that are distressing and hard to dismiss.

- Repetitive, time-consuming behaviors or mental rituals performed in response to the thoughts.

- Significant distress or impairment in daily activities and relationships due to the obsessions and compulsions.

When to Seek Help

If you are experiencing any of the symptoms mentioned above and they are causing significant distress or interfering with your ability to care for your baby and yourself, it’s important to seek help. Here are some steps to take:

1. Talk to Your Healthcare Provider:

- Discuss your symptoms with your primary care doctor, OB-GYN, or pediatrician. They can provide a referral to a mental health specialist.

2. Consult a Mental Health Professional:

- A licensed therapist or psychiatrist who specializes in perinatal mental health can offer an accurate diagnosis and recommend appropriate treatment options.

3. Join a Support Group:

- Connecting with other moms who are experiencing similar challenges can provide emotional support and reduce feelings of isolation.

Treatment Options

Effective treatment for postpartum OCD typically involves a combination of therapy and, in some cases, medication:

1. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT):

- Specifically, Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is highly effective for treating OCD. It involves gradually exposing oneself to the anxiety-provoking thoughts without engaging in the compulsive behaviors.

2. Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART)

-Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) offers a promising approach to treating OCD, providing rapid symptom relief through innovative techniques that help reprocess and resolve distressing thoughts.

3. Medication:

- Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are commonly prescribed to help manage OCD symptoms. Always consult with a healthcare provider before starting any medication.

4. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques:

- Practices such as mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce anxiety and improve emotional regulation.

Conclusion

Recognizing the signs of postpartum OCD is crucial for new moms to seek the appropriate help and support. If you suspect that you or someone you know may have postpartum OCD, don’t hesitate to reach out to a healthcare provider. With the right treatment and support, it is possible to manage the symptoms and enjoy motherhood with greater peace and confidence.

Common Myths About the 4th Trimester and an Honest Look at the Postpartum Period

The 4th trimester, or the first three months after childbirth, is a critical time for both the newborn and the parents. Despite its importance, many misconceptions surround this period. Let's debunk some common myths and take an honest look at what the postpartum period truly entails.

Myth 1: The 4th Trimester Is Only About the Baby

Reality:

While the baby requires a lot of attention, the 4th trimester is equally about the mother’s recovery and well-being. Physical healing from childbirth, hormonal changes, and emotional adjustments are significant aspects of this period. It's crucial to prioritize maternal health, including rest, nutrition, and mental health support.

Myth 2: Breastfeeding Is Instinctive and Effortless

Reality:

Breastfeeding can be challenging and may require practice, patience, and support. Many mothers experience difficulties such as latching issues, sore nipples, and milk supply concerns. Lactation consultants and support groups can provide valuable assistance. Remember, each mother's breastfeeding journey is unique, and it’s okay to seek help.

Myth 3: Mothers Instantly Bond with Their Babies

Reality:

The bond between mother and baby can take time to develop. Some mothers feel an immediate connection, while others may need days, weeks, or even months. Postpartum depression, anxiety, and exhaustion can affect bonding. It’s important to be patient and seek support if bonding doesn’t happen right away.

Myth 4: Postpartum Depression Is Rare

Reality:

Postpartum depression (PPD) affects approximately 1 in 7 women. It's more common than many realize and can occur regardless of previous mental health history. Symptoms include sadness, anxiety, irritability, and difficulty bonding with the baby. Recognizing the signs and seeking professional help is crucial for recovery.

Myth 5: You Should Bounce Back Quickly

Reality:

The pressure to "bounce back" to pre-pregnancy weight and fitness levels is unrealistic and unhealthy. The body needs time to heal from childbirth. Embrace the changes and focus on gradual recovery. Postpartum exercise, when cleared by a healthcare provider, should prioritize overall well-being rather than weight loss.

Myth 6: Asking for Help Is a Sign of Weakness

Reality:

Seeking help is a sign of strength and wisdom. The 4th trimester can be overwhelming, and having a support system is vital. Whether it's family, friends, or professional services, accepting help with household chores, baby care, or emotional support can make a significant difference.

Myth 7: Only Women Experience Postpartum Adjustments

Reality:

Partners also go through adjustments during the postpartum period. They may experience emotional changes, increased stress, and the pressure to support the mother and baby. Open communication and shared responsibilities can help partners navigate this transition together.

Honest Insights into the Postpartum Period

1. Exhaustion Is Real: Sleep deprivation is common. Nap when the baby naps and consider sleep-sharing arrangements with your partner.

2. Physical Healing Takes Time: Whether you had a vaginal birth or a C-section, your body needs time to heal. Follow your healthcare provider's advice and don't rush the recovery process.

3. Emotional Rollercoaster: Hormonal fluctuations can cause mood swings, anxiety, and irritability. Be kind to yourself and seek support if needed.

4. New Normal: Life with a newborn is a big adjustment. Flexibility and patience are key. Your routines and priorities will change, and that’s okay.

5. Community Support: Connecting with other new parents through support groups or online communities can provide a sense of solidarity and practical advice.

The 4th trimester is a transformative period filled with challenges and joys. By debunking these myths and sharing honest insights, we can better prepare for and navigate the postpartum journey with empathy and understanding. Remember, every parent's experience is unique, and seeking support is essential for a healthy transition into parenthood.

What Should You Do After An ART Therapy Session?

Repost from acceleratedresolutiontherapy.com: This article was written and created by Rosenzweig Center for Rapid Recovery

Amazing things are still happening in your brain even after an Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) session!  

Through ART, your brain rescripts traumatic images so that you leave with a ‘positized’ version of your traumatic memory. The term “positiziation” refers to what ART Developer, Laney Rosenzweig calls the process of transforming a negative memory into a more positive one. Through a process called ‘reconsolidation’, your brain changes how your memories are stored so that you can form new beliefs and perspectives. Researchers call this “rescripting.”

Your brain is creating new connections that didn’t exist before!

ART stimulates your brain’s innate capability to process and integrate traumatic memories. Some believe the changes that occur with ART may be likened to changes made during the Rapid Eye Movement sleep phase when your brain consolidates memories and works through emotions. This process makes traumatic memories less distressing and stores them in a more adaptive and integrated way in the brain.

Even after just one ART session, you’ll often experience a whole new lease on life.  You’ll feel more energetic, hopeful, and inspired. However, remember, even after the session, your brain is still working to “positize”, reconsolidate, and rescript for long-lasting results.  

Positive Things You Can Do for Yourself after an ART session

• Indulge in Relaxation:

Before your ART session, you might have been living in a state of hyperarousal, as your amygdala has been overactive. 

Now that you’ve calmed this part of your brain, you’ll be able to rest deeply. The bilateral eye movements you performed during your session, a key component of ART, have been shown to create a deep state of relaxation. These movements stimulate both sides of the brain, promoting balance and relaxation.

Take this time to rest and allow yourself to process the emotions and experiences that arose during the ART session. Engage in joyful, calming activities such as reading a favorite book, spending time in nature, taking a warm bath with relaxing magnesium salts, or enjoying a cup of herbal tea. 

• Engage in Gentle Movement:

Engage in gentle movements such as stretching, yoga, or a leisurely walk in nature. These activities can further support the work accomplished in an ART session as they encourage you to be present in your body. Relaxing walks may help you process emotions further as your eyes move similarly to the bilateral movements in an ART session.

• Get Creative:  

There’s a reason it’s called ‘ART.’  Accelerated Resolution Therapy helps develop and engage the creative side of your brain. Studies have demonstrated that the bilateral eye movements in ART induce theta waves in the brain. Theta waves are associated with a deeply relaxed state, creativity, intuition, and daydreaming, all of which can enhance the therapeutic process.

If you’ve been in survival mode for too long, you may have found it challenging to do more than the bare minimum to get through each day. Now that you have moved from a state of “surviving” to “thriving” you may enjoy exploring your creative side.  

Creative expression can be a powerful outlet for processing emotions, encouraging unconventional thinking that stimulates both the left and right sides of your brain. Making art can help you rediscover the self you thought you lost due to trauma.

Art-making has an alchemical effect on the imagination. It awakens the senses and sharpens insights, teaching us to think in symbols, metaphors, and to de-code complexity, so we can perceive the world in new ways.

— Linda Naiman

• Journaling: 

You may have noticed memories and sensations that surprised you during your ART session. In your journal, write about thoughts, feelings, and insights from the session.  Journaling helps you remember images, narratives, and cognitions that came up during the session.  It also allows you to reflect on these experiences, which can aid in the processing and integration of ART.  Writing works with both the rational and creative sides of the brain to help process your specific findings.  Now that ART has helped your brain create new neural pathways, writing may help you discover even more new perspectives.

• Mindfulness or Meditation:

Mindfulness can put you in the observer’s position as you notice sensations and thoughts after a session. Engage in your environment slowly and intentionally. Your ART session has created an incredible mind-body connection, a state where your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations are all in sync. As you are now more connected with your body and emotions, you can be in touch with your wants and needs.   Being in a mindful state may provide insight into your needs and how to give yourself comfort in future moments. Focus on your breath, meditate, or be present in the moment.

Find an ART trained therapist near you. 

SOURCES

Brain Serotonergic Receptors and Control of Fluid Intake and Cardiovascular Function in Rats – Neurobiology of Body Fluid Homeostasis – NCBI Bookshelf

5 Benefits of Journaling for Mental Health

Brief treatment of co-occurring post-traumatic stress and depressive symptoms by use of accelerated resolution therapy®

Have you eaten today?

Disclaimer: Please consult your physician for personalized nutritional advice. Always seek the advice of a physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice or treatment because of something you have read on the Metro Counseling and Wellness website.

As a new mom, your days might feel like a whirlwind of feedings, diaper changes, and trying to grab a few minutes of sleep whenever possible. In the midst of caring for your baby, it’s easy to forget about caring for yourself. One of the simplest yet most vital self-care actions you can take is making sure you’re eating well. So, have you eaten today?

The Importance of Nutrition Postpartum

After giving birth, your body needs time to recover and heal. Proper nutrition plays a crucial role in this process. Not only does it help you regain strength and energy, but it also supports breastfeeding and can improve your overall mood and well-being.

Quick and Nutritious Meal Ideas

Finding time to prepare and eat nutritious meals can be challenging with a newborn. Here are some quick and easy meal ideas to help you stay nourished:

1. Smoothies

- Blend fruits, vegetables, yogurt, and a scoop of protein powder for a quick, nutritious meal you can drink on the go.

2. Overnight Oats

- Prepare oats the night before with milk, chia seeds, and your favorite toppings like nuts, fruits, or honey. It’s ready to eat in the morning without any fuss.

3. Veggie and Protein-Packed Salads

- Keep pre-washed greens, canned beans, hard-boiled eggs, and pre-cooked chicken on hand to throw together a quick, balanced salad.

4. Whole Grain Wraps

- Fill whole grain wraps with lean protein, like turkey or chicken, and plenty of veggies for a quick and satisfying meal.

5. Yogurt Parfaits

- Layer yogurt with granola and fresh fruits for a quick breakfast or snack that’s rich in protein and fiber.

Hydration Matters

Don’t forget about hydration! Drink plenty of water throughout the day, especially if you’re breastfeeding. Keeping a water bottle nearby can serve as a reminder to sip regularly.

Tips for Eating Well

- Meal Prep: Prepare meals and snacks in advance whenever you have a moment. Even prepping one or two meals can make a big difference.

- One-Handed Snacks: Keep easy-to-eat snacks, like nuts, fruit, cheese sticks, and cut veggies, within reach.

- Accept Help: If friends or family offer to bring meals, say yes! It’s a wonderful way to ensure you’re eating well without extra effort.

- Listen to Your Body: Pay attention to your hunger cues. Eating when you’re hungry can help maintain your energy levels and mood.

Emotional Well-Being

Eating well isn’t just about physical health; it’s also about supporting your emotional well-being. Proper nutrition can help stabilize your mood and reduce feelings of anxiety and depression, which are common in the postpartum period.

Ask for Support

If you’re struggling to find the time or energy to eat properly, don’t hesitate to ask for support. Reach out to your partner, family members, or friends. Let them know how they can help you manage daily tasks so you can take a few moments to nourish yourself.

You Deserve It

Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential. You are doing an incredible job, and your health is just as important as your baby’s. By ensuring you’re eating well, you’re giving yourself the strength and energy you need to care for your little one.

So, next time you find yourself in the midst of the new mom hustle, pause and ask yourself, “Have I eaten today?” Then take a moment to nourish your body and mind. You deserve it.

A look at How Childhood Trauma can impact Parenting

Parenting is a deeply personal and often challenging journey. For those who have experienced childhood trauma, the path can be especially complex. Childhood trauma, whether it involves abuse, neglect, or other adverse experiences, leaves lasting imprints that can influence one’s approach to raising children. In this post, we will explore how childhood trauma impacts parenting and offer a compassionate understanding of these challenges.

Understanding Childhood Trauma

Childhood trauma refers to any distressing experience during one’s early years that has lasting effects on emotional and psychological well-being. This can include physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, neglect, witnessing domestic violence, or losing a parent or caregiver. These traumatic experiences can shape an individual’s view of the world, themselves, and their relationships.

Impact of Childhood Trauma on Parenting

1. Emotional Regulation Challenges

For those who grew up in traumatic environments, managing emotions can be a significant hurdle. The stress, anger, or sadness that stem from past traumas can resurface unpredictably, making it difficult to maintain calm and composed responses to their children's behaviors. This struggle with emotional regulation can inadvertently create a tense atmosphere, affecting the child’s sense of security.

2. Difficulties with Attachment and Bonding

Trauma can affect one's ability to form secure attachments. Parents who did not experience a nurturing and trusting relationship with their own caregivers may find it challenging to create that bond with their children. This can lead to attachment issues, where the child might feel insecure or emotionally distant, perpetuating a cycle that is hard to break.

3. Influence on Parenting Styles

The shadow of past trauma often influences parenting styles. Some may become overly protective, striving to shield their children from any potential harm. Others might struggle with setting boundaries, fearing they might replicate the strict or harsh treatment they endured. Both extremes, although rooted in love and concern, can hinder a child’s healthy development.

4. Triggers and Emotional Reactions

Certain situations or behaviors exhibited by their children can trigger painful memories of past trauma, leading to reactions that may seem disproportionate. Understanding these triggers and learning to manage them is crucial for maintaining a balanced and supportive parenting approach.

5. Impact on Self-Worth and Confidence

Childhood trauma can severely affect self-esteem and confidence. Parents who doubt their abilities may feel overwhelmed by the demands of parenting, leading to inconsistent or ineffective practices. This lack of confidence can also make it difficult to advocate for their children's needs, further complicating the parenting journey.

Strategies for Breaking the Cycle

The impact of childhood trauma on parenting is profound, but it is possible to break the cycle and nurture a healthier environment for the next generation. Here are some compassionate strategies to support this journey:

1.Therapy and Counseling

Seeking therapy is a courageous and effective step toward healing. Working with a therapist can help parents understand their past, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and improve emotional regulation and attachment styles. Therapy offers a safe space to process emotions and find strength.

2. Parenting Classes and Support Groups

Parenting classes and support groups provide invaluable insights, tools, and support. These resources offer practical advice on managing stress, setting boundaries, and fostering positive parent-child relationships. Being part of a community can alleviate feelings of isolation and offer encouragement.

3. Mindfulness and Stress Management

Practicing mindfulness and stress management techniques can help parents stay grounded and respond more calmly to their children's needs. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and journaling can be particularly beneficial in managing emotional responses.

4. Building a Support Network

Having a strong support network of friends, family, or other parents can provide emotional and practical support. Sharing experiences and advice with others who understand can make a significant difference, offering both empathy and practical help.

5.Practicing Self-Compassion and Patience

Healing from trauma is a journey that requires self-compassion and patience. Parents need to be kind to themselves, recognizing that progress takes time. Embracing their journey with grace and understanding can lead to more positive parenting experiences and outcomes.

Conclusion

The impact of childhood trauma on parenting is significant, but it is not insurmountable. With understanding, compassion, and support, trauma survivors can break the cycle and create nurturing, supportive environments for their children. By acknowledging and addressing these challenges, parents can foster emotional and psychological well-being, paving the way for a brighter future for their families.